


Intertwined

by PrinxietyGodfairy



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Happens in the 80s I think, I don’t what this is, M/M, Trans Roman, its not that bad but take care, not purposefully though, on that note, tw: internalized homophobia, tw: misgendering and deadnaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23408134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinxietyGodfairy/pseuds/PrinxietyGodfairy
Summary: Even then, while staring at his ceiling with tear stained cheeks he knows it.He deserves a love story.—Or the different lives of two people that find love after they stop looking.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	Intertwined

Even then, while staring at his ceiling with tear stained cheeks he knows it. 

He deserves a love story. 

Roman knows it deep in his bones, in that crevice where one could place the soul, that he is meant for love.

Magnificent, heartwarming love. 

He knows it with the certainty of a shipwreck survivor and he believes it with the desperation of one too; of a man at the mercy of a force he can’t control, only traverse. 

But he’ll get it all. He deserves it all. 

Someday, maybe not today, but someday, time will stop just for him, their eyes will meet and he’ll know. He’ll be himself and they will love him for it. They’ll love him as a man. 

It’ll be one of those untimely loves, too, those couples that make you believe in soulmates. They’ll hold him when he’s sad and laugh with him, and every morning he’ll wake up knowing that he’ll never feel alone. They’ll have the type of love story that makes children go starry eyed when they hear it.

Days like today will seem like a distant memory. A bitter step of the way.

—

He’s trapped. 

This mind, this heart, they’re a curse. 

The feelings inside him are disgusting. How could he ever love him? How could he look at Virgil and see... see what? Someone attractive? Someone fun? Lovable? How could he ever? How could anyone at all? 

He. Virgil’s wants the love of a boy. God.

He’s choking on the words and his hands are shaking, his entire body is, it’s like the shaking was coming from his core, he needs to stop and- 

“Hey honey, can you breathe for me please?”

How disappointed would she be if she knew? His own mother would see a stranger in his face.

“Just focus on my voice baby, it’s okay.” 

Would her love change? Rot?

“I’ll give you a bear hug if you need it, and you can stay in my bed tonight if you need that too” 

Virgil hadn’t had a slumber party with her since the year his father left. 

He’s too old for this, he knows. But he smiles a bit. And he nods. The truth can wait. He needs to take in all the love she’ll give him before it dies.

—

Even with everything he owns in a suitcase, and whatever he’s earned in his last summer job Roman believes there are better things waiting for him. He’s going to his aunt’s place, she’s lived with her “best friend” since he can remember so hopefully she’ll take him in. He just has to make the trip to Florida.

He won’t stand being called Emma anymore. He’ll never be anyone’s young lady ever again.

He won’t hide anymore.

Cold nights and lonely days will follow. It will seem like years to him, but in two weeks he’s received with open arms. 

He’s one of the lucky ones.

—  
Virgil’s 17 when he comes out. He wasn’t planning on it. He hadn’t even fathomed the idea. 

But that day, on that old radio in the family room the news decided to talk of the gay pride parade.

He’s opening and closing his fists out of nerves, burying his nails in his palms bracing for the comments that will inevitably come, how vulgar it is, disgusting, innapropiate. What they say on the radio doesn’t really matter, he’s heard it all. If his mother were to speak, that would matter, that would hurt. 

He needs to breathe.

“Those brave people. Lord bless them- Virgil’s mother speaks softly. -I don’t think I’ve talked about this Virgil, but no matter what you hear on the streets we are all the lord’s children, and after what happened with sweet Emma, she’s four, five years older than you, parents kicked her out, and she’s nowhere to be found. You two  
Used to play together sometimes. You remember right?” 

He turns and sees the fierce look on his mother’s face and nods, dumbfounded.

“Her own mother was calling her terrible things. And don’t get me wrong, It took me a while too, but at the hospital you see so many of these men, that are no less human than any of us, and you see all their suffering, how they are treated. Gosh. I’ll hold their hand in the toughest moments, and find a soul that only He can give.” She hasn’t ripped his eyes from the radio, focused on what she’s saying, like a preacher sharing divine truth. 

That’s when he starts crying, weeping, he falls to his knees and spills truths that he never meant to speak. They cry together, as she holds him like a child with promises that it will be okay.

He’s one of the lucky ones.

—

This is it. He’s found it, he is the one for him. 

He’s nice and charming and he loves Roman. No matter how sad he is or how little he talks some days he’s still there for Roman. It’s been almost a year since they met. And what more can he ask for? He’s found his Prince Charming.

He looks like a fairytale, and he’s made of dreams. This is it for him, this is why he waited, this is what destiny was building up for. They have plans, they’ll move in once they’ve settled into their new lives, get jobs and as he studies Roman can work, and then when Roman pursues his passions he’ll deal with the money. 

This is everything he’s ever wanted, the life he knew was in him. Hope has yielded good results, it brought him his destiny.

Roman sees it in Jake’s eyes, in his smile and his care, he knows Jake is the start of the rest of his life.

—

Love is just not in Virgil’s future. 

In the back of his head he admits it sound nice, and his mom would rejoice if he brought someone home, but it just, doesn’t fit his plans. Not romantic love at least, or the heartbreak that comes with it. Although Patton is stuck with him for good, and his mom will always be there for him, a relationship is just too much. How will he have time for that between classes and jobs? 

It’s not like he’s a formidable candidate for anyone else anyway, so being single sounds like a good plan. He isn’t lonely, he has all the love he needs already. 

His story isn’t a chock flick, he’s going to make something out of himself.

—

Roman knows it has to end. That’s what they want, they’re both tired. 

No matter what Roman does he breaks them, they get bored or angry and, although he’s in a relationship he's lonely. The worst thing is they are not friends anymore, they dried out their relationship so much it killed their friendship. Neither of them know how to break it off. So he is going to do it. He’ll couch surf for a while and he’ll figure it out. It’s curious how in a relationship he feels the loneliest he’s felt since high school . He’s in a glass box in a busy street, surrounded by people but alone. And for what? Why? Where is the love story he swore he deserved? Does reality have to mock him in such a way to teach him his lesson?

If love isn’t for him then he’ll just dedicate himself to other dreams. 

A broken heart can mend with new passions.

—

While Virgil finishes school and cares for his mother Roman dedicates himself to theater. 

There were hard times, Roman lost his aunt, Virgil was fired from five jobs after the rumor on his sexuality was out.

And there were good times, Virgil wrote a book, Roman moved to a place that made him happy. 

At this point they’ve both found happiness, not in loneliness, but in the company of themselves.

Their paths went for years before it was time for them to cross, as it’s many years later that they meet again. Roman’s recently started working as the community theater’s manager.

Virgil is doing Patton a favor, he asked Virgil to stop by the theater a ask for an old friend that he heard had moved to town and was working there. 

He’s told to go through a pair of doors that lead backstage. There seems to be an entire crew working on the preparations from a show when he walks in. 

And then he hears it, a singing that seems to reverberate from every wall, and he follows it to a gorgeous man, a bit older than him, with his arms open wide as of regarding an audience that isn’t there. 

And when Roman turns and their eyes meet, time seems to stop as they find in the other what seems like an old friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Not being able to sleep is very good for finishing wips, it seems.
> 
> I’ve had this half written for a year, and needed something to help me calm down so it was destiny. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Drink water, wash your hands and stay home!
> 
> (If your need help with dealing with living with homophobic parents, disphoria, suicidal thoughts, or just need someone to talk to, The Trevor project is a great, resource:  
> https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ ) 
> 
> Take care :)


End file.
